My yoni massage work always begins with the setting of an Intention. To set an intention, it’s best to try to avoid being too rational in one’s thinking. Our thinking mind would often have us take the more superficial route (like – getting as much pleasure as money could buy!). It’s best, instead, to connect to deep, authentic wants – something that can be best described as your soul calling. What is your true heart’s desire? That’s your intention.
Bianca, a recent client in Miami, said without hesitation that she was looking for creativity. She’d been having a hard time connecting to her creative flow and recapturing her inspiration for writing. This became our shared intention as we began our journey.
Yoni massage is a ritual that unfolds gradually, with intention guiding the way into the unconscious. Meanwhile, we create a safe space by slowing down, staying present and surrendering to the experience of every moment. There is a structure to yoni massage and yet every massage is different. Intuitive flow eventually takes us over - and we can’t plan how things go.
Bianca’s massage was a 4-hour journey that included a consecration ritual, recognizing and letting go of patterns that held her back, a full-body oil massage with awareness anchored in breathing. We worked on pressure points to release tensions around her belly and pelvic floor.
When it came to deeper yoni massage, we both had very different underlying and unconscious expectations – she was expecting a more significant sexual arousal, whereas I showed up with the attitude of “an expert” in how to touch the A, K, G spots and cervix.
Half way through, however, we both caught a graceful moment of surrender. Bianca had a strong connection to her body and wasn't afraid to let me know when it would be best to relax and even pause. I’m so grateful when this happens, when my client is being so perfectly attuned to the needs of her body!
Then came a precious moment when we paused, breathing together and she shared: “I see now, that’s my lesson - slowing down and surrendering, I can’t impose any expectations on myself. Just being with myself, taking time, and breathing is enough. It’s so beautiful just to share this moment together. Very precious. I feel so relaxed and at peace. I feel complete.”
She had such beautiful insight and I was so grateful for this deep lesson in surrender. I gave up my techniques and simply paused in that blissful silence. That’s right, I am never an “expert.” We’re on the path of Surrender together, that’s how we’re walking each other Home.
When we connected for our debrief and integration call, she seemed grateful and content. “I found what I was looking for. The gentle place of giving up any agenda and trusting what is. That's the birthplace of Creativity. I can’t force myself into being creative - I can just arrange a quiet, gentle and loving space to be with what is. That’s the most refined orgasm I could ever ask for,” she said.
We can all learn to expand our experience of orgasmic (i.e., pleasure) energy, and grow ever more aware and awake in high sensation. Sometimes it’s not about Unicorns and Rainbows, wild screaming, or major explosions. Sometimes silence and stillness offer a gateway into long-awaited creativity. And you, my friend, what would you share as your intention for your yoni massage?