Experiencing your full Orgasmic potential
“We need not to do anything other than turn on a television for evidence affirming how desperately our society, our world, needs an extreme force of self-love to counter the constant barrage of shame, discrimination, and body-based oppression enacted against us daily.”
Sonya Renee Taylor
10 years ago, I could not orgasm.
10 years ago, I could not orgasm. I was very much ashamed about different aspects of sexuality and just couldn’t find a way to explore this topic.
My questions and hunger for self-exploration brought me to a tantric yoga school in Thailand. The teachings I received there about conscious sexuality blew my mind. I spent many seasons exploring yoni massage, among other amazing subjects. The yoni massage had a profound and lasting effect on my sexuality as well as my personal growth, and therefore I’m now very excited to offer it to others.
I believe that radical shadow work and unleashed sexuality are gateways to our highest potential. With each yoni massage that I give, I develop deeper insight into the sensuality, tenderness, and significance of the female power center.
It is a popular belief that about 80% of women don’t experience orgasm during sexual intercourse.
As a teen, I learned from magazines that clitoral orgasms are the best that I can hope for. Nothing was mentioned about experiencing multiple, varied, incredible orgasms. Or that they could be experienced not only on a physical level, but also an emotional, mental and energetic one.
Why didn’t I know the potential of multiple, varied orgasms until I was nearly 30?
Why isn’t this talked about?
How is it okay and acceptable that millions of women live their entire lives without ever learning of the ecstatic, cosmic potential of their yonis?
Luckily, some real feminine wisdom and guidance has drastically changed my sexual experience for the better. Over the years of exploration of myself as well as practicing on others, I have learned a great deal about female sexuality.
I believe we all need to shed layers of shame and take more time to explore the mystical potential of our yoni.
While personally experiencing yoni massages, I learned that I am capable of G-spot orgasm (squirting), A-spot orgasm, K-spot orgasm, and a cervical orgasm. The cervical orgasm is truly a Tantric one, as it has a different quality compared to, for instance, a clitorial or G-spot orgasm. It originates deep in our body and it spreads all over and beyond it, dissolving all physical boundaries, taking you into an out-of-body experience.
It is subtle. It is oceanic. It is truly divine. It is the queen of all orgasms.
It radiates your entire life force through you.
Yoni massage & Exploration
Yoni massage is a Tantric practice designed to explore hidden aspects of the feminine self. Below are some insights I have discovered during my exploration into yoni massage.
“Whenever in doubt, turn off your mind, relax, float downstream”
Yoni, the Sacred Temple
Yoni is a Sanskrit word that is interpreted as ‘sacred temple.’ Literally it means the womb—the female organs of generation. It is a symbol of divine, procreative energy conventionally represented by a circular stone. It is also an iconic representation of the goddess Shakti in Hinduism.
The word yoni includes the female sexual organs—vagina, vulva, and uterus.
I prefer to use the term yoni rather than vagina for a couple of reasons. The first is that there has been immense social conditioning and narrative placed upon the word ‘vagina’. Using the term yoni carries with it a softness, and also an expansiveness, as it is a less spoken word in the western world.
The word yoni is closely connected to Tantra, an esoteric tradition of Hinduism and Buddhism. Tantra was originally created as a way to weave together the seeming polarities in life—the physical and spiritual; humanity and the divine.
Yoni massage can also be considered a tantric massage in that the goal is to bring higher awareness to something not yet fully understood.
Our yonis are portals to life and are the most feminine and sensitive parts of women’s bodies. There is ancient wisdom, soul truth, and divine power stored in our yonis that is available for us to access…not to mention ecstatic bliss and physical joy. When we develop a harmonious and connected relationship to our yonis, we become truly empowered.
TRUE FEMININE POWER
Most of us women are unaware of the full potential and power of our yoni. Because a large part of female sexuality takes place hidden from view, leaving room for fear and speculation. While we know the physical manifestations of our yoni—menstruating and giving birth—fully accessing the pleasure within the yoni has traditionally seemed to be only for a lucky few.
My experience of working with women has shown me that it is profoundly empowering to experience true orgasm that goes beyond a quick clitoral peak.
My personal experience
Early in my own life, I felt an impulse to learn more about my yoni, and a desire to get in touch with the feelings that were associated with it. I soon understood that society hardly offers opportunities to approach this topic in a thoughtful way.
My questions and hunger for self-exploration brought me to a tantric yoga school in Thailand where I spent many seasons exploring yoni massage, among other amazing subjects. The yoni massage had a profound and lasting effect on my sexuality as well as personal growth, and therefore I’m now very excited to offer it to others.
With each yoni massage that I give, I develop deeper insight into the sensuality, tenderness, and significance of the female power center.
Our resistance limits our pleasure
The amount of resistance we have will determine the amount of pleasure we’re capable of. What is resistance? The two most obvious are our inability to fully relax and sexual shame, which are intertwined.
It’s hard to meet a woman who is free from sexual shame. We all carry wounds and ancestral baggage of sexual repression.
Various societal and religious belief systems contain notions such as “sex/masturbation is bad and dirty” and these become imprinted in our subconscious. No wonder most women experience unpleasant sensations of burning or pain, or an absence of perception of their yoni. The work of tension-release and relaxation needs to be undertaken to address these issues. When done consciously and methodically, It tends to provide relief.
Our muscular tensions are reflections of our unprocessed experiences.
Just as full body massage is helpful for keeping the body healthy, it makes sense to do the same for our yoni. Not only does it physically help to untie some knots and release some muscle tensions, many women find it surprising to find that there are lots of emotions, traumas, frustration, and stagnant energy trapped inside them. The beauty of the yoni massage practice is that it makes it possible to massage the tension out.
In order to access it, it’s important to keep awareness inside the body while keeping the mind quiet. Using helpful rituals and proper breathing techniques, I will guide you into a deep, relaxed clear-headed state. It can take time to disarm and activate the pleasure in your yoni, and being patient is key. After all, the yoni is receiving more conscious attention, love, compassion, and time, than it has in years, perhaps ever.
It is expected for one to have some challenging sensations and emotions during the first session. However, it’s worth the time and energy that you put in, and each subsequent session brings forth certain physical, emotional, mental, sexual shifts as well as deeper insights and truths that are contained within you.
Surrender is key
Now that I’ve described the potential for pleasure and pain, I find it important to mention the key point of this work. Surrender (n.) is the key to reclaiming your sexual power. I will explain what this means.
Most of us are conditioned to run away from pain and to chase pleasure. But a few lucky ones have found that this is a path that never brings true satisfaction. Once we experience orgasmic potential firsthand, we realize that a life lived from a place of fear and greed is a life not worth living.
Yet we understand that cosmic orgasms cannot be achieved by being chased. Here effort does not equal success.
The Tantric path is paradoxical like that, as great things happen on it when you simply surrender and trust. Some superficial physical orgasms can be reached by grasping for pleasure, while beyond-the-body, energetic orgasms only come in deep vulnerability.
In order to have these orgasms we must be ready to go to places that are emotional or scary to the mind, we must be ready to lose control and feel deeper than ever. This can only happen in the space of deep surrender.
My ultimate work as a yoni massage facilitator is to be your guide to this surrendered state. I’m well-equipped for that because I’ve committed my life to an ultimate surrender within myself. I embody that which I provide and guide for others.
If you google “orgasm”, you will find a variety of definitions—most of them referring to a sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement. These definitions overlook the magical, mystical, spiritual elements that an orgasm brings.
Here are the best words I have found so far: “Orgasm is a sudden or gradual meeting of this humanness with the Absolute. As the human invites the divinity through trust and surrender, the consciousness penetrates freely through all layers of the self, through mind, emotions, energy, more subtle fields, to the core of who we are, into the layer where we never even existed as a separate human.”
When you claim your sexual pleasure, you claim your personal power.
Overview of session structure
Here is the structure of the massage session, followed by a brief description of each phase.
Pre-session: Initial consultation, 10-15 minutes long
Day of session: Session, approximately 3 hours long, followed by aftercare, up to an hour.
Day or two after session: Debrief, duration varied, based on individual.
Because of the nature and power of this work, it is essential that we establish a foundation of mutual trust and understanding. To achieve this, I provide a complimentary 15 minute consultation via Skype, Zoom, or FaceTime to connect with you and learn why you desire this experience.
For the most powerful and optimal effects of the yoni massage, take the day of the yoni massage to rest. The session is about 3 hours long, and there will be a few hours of internal integration after the session as well. Giving your body the compassionate self-care of a day’s rest will provide deep healing for you. It's recommended to reduce amount of caffeine the day of the session.
Yoni Massage Session
The yoni is a multi-layered, multi-dimensional being all unto herself. There is a shedding of layers that occurs during the session, and it requires a gentle easing in. Like a rose in bloom, as it unfolds and shows more of its petals, it becomes more beautiful, full, and alive. There is more to be seen and appreciated.
We begin the 3-hour session by checking- in about how you are feeling physically and emotionally. Once you have reached a level of relaxation and comfort in your body, I guide you through a series of practices to allow your body to fall even deeper.
During this time, I explain the process, as well as certain spiritual components. We also discuss boundaries and concerns. Everything that is done during the yoni massage is with your full consent. If at any moment you should feel uncomfortable, we stop the massage and do not go further.
Next, we go into full body massage, performed with oil and designed to make you feel and relax your entire body, rather than being a deep tissue kind of massage. It is a good way for us to connect on a physical level. This gives your mind and body a clearer idea of how I work, and allows you to trust my hands to go deeper within you. I give more attention to abdominal massage as well as to certain pressure points which assists deeper relaxation of the pelvic floor area.
The yoni massage itself then begins with some external massage around the clitoral area followed by your consent before continuing inside. This is how yoni massage is designed:
massaging certain “unpopular” areas which are usually ignored
working with some pressure points which are helpful for releasing inner tensions
giving you a “map” of your yoni – explaining to you the anatomy of it so you can become aware of how different spots feel while isolated or massaged together.
helping you to release everything that stops you from your natural orgasmic state
The final stage of the massage is integration, or final relaxation. That’s when you get to experience your body in the afterglow of the massage. I guarantee your body/mind/emotional state will be different and it’s important to take some time to give it some attention. I finish the massage very gradually, cover your body with a sheet, and give you some time alone so you can fully relax or possibly journey in an altered state. I choose some aroma oils/incense and music for deeper relaxation.
Once I come back and gently guide you back into your physical body and thinking mind again, we conclude with some final rituals to honor the journey that your body has just been on, and reflect about the experience over exquisite tea.
This gives you a brief idea why the process takes about 3 hours.
The key to the entire practice is relaxation, and giving your body the opportunity to slowly relax over the span of a few hours is transformative.
Because of the deep release and healing that occurs during the session, it is important to have some things in place to support you immediately after the session. I typically recommend my clients give themselves the following day to rest, reflect, and recharge. Oftentimes more repressed emotions arise the following day, so have one of your girlfriends available in case you need extra support. I will also check on you the day after to see how your integration is going.
If you are interested in couples yoni instruction, please write to me and we can discuss your needs. I also offer regular group workshops
Yoni massage is profound in that it touches us in different ways—physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and energetically. Through various research I have come to understand that our bodies store trauma, particularly the yoni. These sessions are an opportunity to heal.
Far beyond merely experiencing cosmic pleasure, this is a chance to acknowledge and let go of intense sensations or memories that have been stored up in our bodies. I believe that great love and enlightenment is possible when we are able to go into the shadow places in ourselves and bring light to them. This is a form of ‘shadow work’ in that in order to experience pleasure, we must first be able to feel and move pain.
My style is gentle, slow, and intuitive. It is this gentle guidance that is most effective with my clients and their bodies. It is in this relaxed state that old traumas, memories, and stored pain can rise to the surface to be released. It is important to understand that our bodies desire to feel pleasure, deeply. It is the forgotten or overlooked pieces that need healing to clear the way for deeper pleasure to arise.
During states of peak arousal, our bodies tend to release excess amounts of fluids. As a yoni massage practitioner, I know that the amounts of fluids —vaginal secretion, squirting, as well as menstrual blood—can be intensified as compared to normal during a yoni massage. The excessive wetness that occurs during our sessions is part of the process of you connecting with your yoni at such a deep level. While I do not recommend having a yoni massage during the peak of your menstrual cycle, as a yoni massage practitioner, I am comfortable with the amounts and types of the various fluids that occur.